Thought I would share the words of a song that speaks so much of where my heart is at.
It is written by T.S.Eliot
Beauty for brokenness, hope for despair
Lord, in the suffering, this is my prayer
Bread for the children, justice, joy, peace
Sunrise to sunset, Your kingdom increase
Shelter for fragile lives, cures for their ills
Work for the craftsmen, trade for their skills
Land for the dispossessed, rights for the weak
Voices to plead the cause, of those who cant speak
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Refuge from cruel wars, havens from fear
Cities for sanctuary, freedoms to share
Peace to the killing fields, scorched earth to green
Christ for the bitterness, His cross for the pain
Rest for the ravaged earth, oceans and streams
Plundered and poisoned, our future, our dreams
Lord, end our madness, carelessness, greed
Make us content with the things that we need
Lighten our darkness, breathe on this flame
Until Your justice burns brightly again
Until the nations learn of Your ways
Seek Your salvation, and bring You thier praise
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Pretty much sums it all up doesnt it
Blessings
Pip
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Henri says it best
The last few weeks have been hard, so hard. I have and am having conflict in the house (something which I try to avoid at all costs), aggression and rude comments on the street and this morning it all felt just too much. I wanted to press pause, figure things out, too come up to air and take a deep breath before I had to dive back in.
I was wondering how did it all get so overwhelming, and suddenly I clicked it is because I haven't not been making time to abide with God. I needed to be reminded of who I am..... I am a child of God who is deeply loved by Him.
Henri says it best....
"Your true identity is a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it, you can live in a world that gives you much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity, because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God, and it is as a child of God that you are sent into the world."
Not only is this true for me but it is true for those who are hostile to me on the street. It is true amongst the conflict.
When I take the time to remember who I am in Christ (a beloved child) everything becomes somewhat easier to deal with. I don't need to rely on other people to love or affirm me. Neither do I need to feel discouraged when things go wrong. Rather I need to remind myself of the security I have as a beloved child of God.
To turn to Him in times of trial, to rest in the comfort of His loving grace.
It doesn't make hard times disappear but it does provide comfort to know I am not doing this alone. I can hand everything on to Him and He will carry me, giving me the deep breath I am so longing for.
Blessings
NB Quote by Henri Nouwen taken from his book The Inner Voice of Love - A Journey through anguish to Freedom
I was wondering how did it all get so overwhelming, and suddenly I clicked it is because I haven't not been making time to abide with God. I needed to be reminded of who I am..... I am a child of God who is deeply loved by Him.
Henri says it best....
"Your true identity is a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it, you can live in a world that gives you much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity, because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God, and it is as a child of God that you are sent into the world."
Not only is this true for me but it is true for those who are hostile to me on the street. It is true amongst the conflict.
When I take the time to remember who I am in Christ (a beloved child) everything becomes somewhat easier to deal with. I don't need to rely on other people to love or affirm me. Neither do I need to feel discouraged when things go wrong. Rather I need to remind myself of the security I have as a beloved child of God.
To turn to Him in times of trial, to rest in the comfort of His loving grace.
It doesn't make hard times disappear but it does provide comfort to know I am not doing this alone. I can hand everything on to Him and He will carry me, giving me the deep breath I am so longing for.
Blessings
NB Quote by Henri Nouwen taken from his book The Inner Voice of Love - A Journey through anguish to Freedom
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Reflections on a Mugging - or two
So as most of you out there know a few weeks ago I was mugged twice in one night. It was a few days before Eid which is the big Muslim holiday - and the day on which most people travel to visit their family. One of my friends was a little sad that she had no family to visit so we decided to take her out for dinner instead.
On leaving the restaurant we took a rickshaw out to the main road. We were only on the rickshaw for about a minute when three men stopped our rickshaw flashing knives and a gun at us. This mugging proceeded as calmly as any mugging can. I spoke to the man pointing the knife at me saying Accha Ek minute amar taka deben (ok 1 minute I will give you my money). He double checked my wallet and then let us go. I think our rickshaw walla (driver) was more scared than we were. At the same time our friend was also being mugged about 10meters behind us. They were more violent to him - hitting him with a machete but fortunately his phone took most of the force.
Our rickshaw walla took us to a friends place where we borrowed money for the CNG ride home. I still had my bag with camera and phone so was quite pleased that I hadn't lost everything.
The CNG ride went well enough, we arrived at the apartment, paid the CNG driver, but as soon as he unlocked the door to let us out, the opening was blocked by 6 men with knives and guns. I nearly laughed at that point - what are the odds?
My laughter soon disappeared these men were serious and much more aggressive from the start. They removed us quite forcefully from the CNG grabbing my bag as they pulled me out. I told them in Bangla that we didn't have any money as we had already been mugged before, but it just seemed to make them more angry.
They began lifting up our auna and salwar kameez tops looking for hidden money. As this was going on I only thought that this is so inappropriate to be touching a women this way in this culture. So as the man touched me I hit his hand away - quite hard in fact. I was rewarded with the hit to the head with his gun. At that point I decided to let them look for money. After searching us and not finding any money they let us go.
When we got up to our place I was very shaken. The aggressive nature of the second mugging and the fact it happened right outside our building was very unsettling. I skyped mum dad and my sister who all did a wonderful job at calming me down. - I think I did the opposite to them.
What followed in the hours after the mugging was an outpouring of love and support from all my supporters. So many messages from people saying that they were praying for me. It took this for me to catch a glimpse of the wonderful support I have.
The first few days after the muggings were quite hard. I looked at every man I saw with suspicion and when a beggar would approach me on the street I would jump a mile, I also made sure I was home well before dark.
After the initial first days I felt a prompting to forgive. When I forgave I felt the peace of God wash over me afresh. I found Psalm 91 helpful - this psalm was given to me many times before I left NZ
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. They say of the Lord He is my refuge and my fortress my God in whom I trust" Psalm 91 vs 1-2
Also check out verse 14-16
What I learnt more than anything is that I am not in control. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our own lives. This isn't the case. God is in control. He was in control while I was being mugged , He is in control now. It is just up to us to put our desire for control aside and place our trust in God, who knows us better than we know ourselves.
Till next time
Pip
On leaving the restaurant we took a rickshaw out to the main road. We were only on the rickshaw for about a minute when three men stopped our rickshaw flashing knives and a gun at us. This mugging proceeded as calmly as any mugging can. I spoke to the man pointing the knife at me saying Accha Ek minute amar taka deben (ok 1 minute I will give you my money). He double checked my wallet and then let us go. I think our rickshaw walla (driver) was more scared than we were. At the same time our friend was also being mugged about 10meters behind us. They were more violent to him - hitting him with a machete but fortunately his phone took most of the force.
Our rickshaw walla took us to a friends place where we borrowed money for the CNG ride home. I still had my bag with camera and phone so was quite pleased that I hadn't lost everything.
The CNG ride went well enough, we arrived at the apartment, paid the CNG driver, but as soon as he unlocked the door to let us out, the opening was blocked by 6 men with knives and guns. I nearly laughed at that point - what are the odds?
My laughter soon disappeared these men were serious and much more aggressive from the start. They removed us quite forcefully from the CNG grabbing my bag as they pulled me out. I told them in Bangla that we didn't have any money as we had already been mugged before, but it just seemed to make them more angry.
They began lifting up our auna and salwar kameez tops looking for hidden money. As this was going on I only thought that this is so inappropriate to be touching a women this way in this culture. So as the man touched me I hit his hand away - quite hard in fact. I was rewarded with the hit to the head with his gun. At that point I decided to let them look for money. After searching us and not finding any money they let us go.
When we got up to our place I was very shaken. The aggressive nature of the second mugging and the fact it happened right outside our building was very unsettling. I skyped mum dad and my sister who all did a wonderful job at calming me down. - I think I did the opposite to them.
What followed in the hours after the mugging was an outpouring of love and support from all my supporters. So many messages from people saying that they were praying for me. It took this for me to catch a glimpse of the wonderful support I have.
The first few days after the muggings were quite hard. I looked at every man I saw with suspicion and when a beggar would approach me on the street I would jump a mile, I also made sure I was home well before dark.
After the initial first days I felt a prompting to forgive. When I forgave I felt the peace of God wash over me afresh. I found Psalm 91 helpful - this psalm was given to me many times before I left NZ
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. They say of the Lord He is my refuge and my fortress my God in whom I trust" Psalm 91 vs 1-2
Also check out verse 14-16
What I learnt more than anything is that I am not in control. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our own lives. This isn't the case. God is in control. He was in control while I was being mugged , He is in control now. It is just up to us to put our desire for control aside and place our trust in God, who knows us better than we know ourselves.
Till next time
Pip
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Things I love about Dhaka
Over the last month or so I have been experiencing a mild form of culture shock. It was kind of inevitable really. I have had no big meltdowns but was just finding everyday things and everyday interactions very frustrating. Recently I had to leave Dhaka to escort a person to Bangkok for surgery, while I was there I was thinking and praying a bit and decided to write a list of things I love about living in Dhaka. Looking at this list has helped me over this period of frustration. So I am going to share this list or some of it with you....
1) I love the way Dhaka looks after it rains
2) I love that I get to learn a new language
3) I love that I get opportunities to serve in such practical ways
4) I love how friendly people are here
5) I love that if I don't know which bus to take there are loads of people willing to help
6) I love that I am reminded daily of the poor and it puts my wants into perspective
7) I love that I constantly meet new people doing amazing things with their lives
8) I love that God continually challenges me
9) I love that when living here I am more dependent on God
10) I love that I am taught much by the poor of Dhaka
Hope you are all doing well sorry haven't blogged in a while will try to be better.
1) I love the way Dhaka looks after it rains
2) I love that I get to learn a new language
3) I love that I get opportunities to serve in such practical ways
4) I love how friendly people are here
5) I love that if I don't know which bus to take there are loads of people willing to help
6) I love that I am reminded daily of the poor and it puts my wants into perspective
7) I love that I constantly meet new people doing amazing things with their lives
8) I love that God continually challenges me
9) I love that when living here I am more dependent on God
10) I love that I am taught much by the poor of Dhaka
Hope you are all doing well sorry haven't blogged in a while will try to be better.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
New Place and Catching the Bus
Last week I moved into my new place. It is a great light 3 bed apartment which I share with 2 other girls from England. My place is now on the other side of town, so I have been able to experience the delight of Dhaka buses.
Dhaka buses are great, they are cheap and you can go anywhere as long as you know which one to get on.
Language school is now a 30min bus ride there and an 1hr 30min ride home due to the increase in traffic. All for between 10 and 20 cents.
The only problem is that sometimes those Dhaka buses are pretty full.
Yesterday I needed to get from Mohakali to Gulshan 2 the bus that takes that route is small, about the size of a van. I had been waiting about 20 mins when the right bus finally came. However inside the small bus was about 40 people, it looked impossible for an ant to get on the bus let alone a person or the 10 that were chasing after the bus.
So I decided now or never and ran with all the others, grabbing hold of the rail and pushing my way on all while the bus was still moving. I rode most of the way while holding the rail half in half out of the bus. This I discovered is a great way to ride, catching the breeze as we stop and start through traffic.
After a while some of the people got of the bus and I had to retreat to the more conventional ladies seat. How boring!
I do love those Dhaka buses.
Dhaka buses are great, they are cheap and you can go anywhere as long as you know which one to get on.
Language school is now a 30min bus ride there and an 1hr 30min ride home due to the increase in traffic. All for between 10 and 20 cents.
The only problem is that sometimes those Dhaka buses are pretty full.
Yesterday I needed to get from Mohakali to Gulshan 2 the bus that takes that route is small, about the size of a van. I had been waiting about 20 mins when the right bus finally came. However inside the small bus was about 40 people, it looked impossible for an ant to get on the bus let alone a person or the 10 that were chasing after the bus.
So I decided now or never and ran with all the others, grabbing hold of the rail and pushing my way on all while the bus was still moving. I rode most of the way while holding the rail half in half out of the bus. This I discovered is a great way to ride, catching the breeze as we stop and start through traffic.
After a while some of the people got of the bus and I had to retreat to the more conventional ladies seat. How boring!
I do love those Dhaka buses.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Language and Acting
This week I started a new module at language school called reading and writing.
Sounds easy but it isn't Here is a sample of what I had to read aloud in class today and understand
ঢাকা বাংলাদেশের রাজধানী | এটা বাংলাদেশের মাঝখানে সবচেয়ে বড় ,ও সুন্দর শহর | এর দ্ক্কিনদেকে দুরিন্ন্ধা নদী আছে |
It seems like the difficulty of my class has jumped a few levels. On the plus side it has made me come home and do a lot of study.
It seems like Bangla is now everywhere, even the headings on the page I type my blog on has switched to Bangla script. I have also been asked to teach a one off health class to slum school children in Bangla.
It is really good though because I have been praying for opportunities to take my language learning up a gear :) Won't be praying that again for a while.
On the plus side I have noticed my conversational Bangla improving, and recently have had several good conversations with locals in Bangla.
Last week I also acted for a Bangla TV show the show is called ইত্যাদি (etc) and every year it does a comedy special with all foreign actors which airs after Ramadan. This year the scene is on a Dhaka bus. All the characters are foreigners including the bus driver ( who did do some driving), a women vomiting out the window, and various hawkers selling things on the bus.
I played a women who was yelling at a male passenger sitting in a woman's seat. I should get a copy of the segment on DVD - but not sure that any one will get to see it just yet.....
Life has been good the past week - no more yelling at rickshaw drivers - I move house on Friday which I am looking forward to.
Thanks for reading
Sounds easy but it isn't Here is a sample of what I had to read aloud in class today and understand
ঢাকা বাংলাদেশের রাজধানী | এটা বাংলাদেশের মাঝখানে সবচেয়ে বড় ,ও সুন্দর শহর | এর দ্ক্কিনদেকে দুরিন্ন্ধা নদী আছে |
It seems like the difficulty of my class has jumped a few levels. On the plus side it has made me come home and do a lot of study.
It seems like Bangla is now everywhere, even the headings on the page I type my blog on has switched to Bangla script. I have also been asked to teach a one off health class to slum school children in Bangla.
It is really good though because I have been praying for opportunities to take my language learning up a gear :) Won't be praying that again for a while.
On the plus side I have noticed my conversational Bangla improving, and recently have had several good conversations with locals in Bangla.
Last week I also acted for a Bangla TV show the show is called ইত্যাদি (etc) and every year it does a comedy special with all foreign actors which airs after Ramadan. This year the scene is on a Dhaka bus. All the characters are foreigners including the bus driver ( who did do some driving), a women vomiting out the window, and various hawkers selling things on the bus.
I played a women who was yelling at a male passenger sitting in a woman's seat. I should get a copy of the segment on DVD - but not sure that any one will get to see it just yet.....
Life has been good the past week - no more yelling at rickshaw drivers - I move house on Friday which I am looking forward to.
Thanks for reading
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Feeling Super Holy or NOT!!!
There is something deep down in my subconscious that thinks all Christians are holy but somehow manage to be way more Holy on their way to church during church and returning home.
This last Friday (that is the day I go to church here) I proved that this so is not the case :)
So to put thing into context I get a rickshaw to church it usually cost between 30 and 40 Taka depending on how long I bargain for.
So I am running late for church (nothing to unusual) I start to look for a rickshaw the first rickshaw wallah asks for 150 Taka - I respond in Bangla saying no way too expensive.
I go to the next rickshaw wallah by this time I am a little mad (how dare he try to charge me 150 Taka doesn't he know that I know how much it should be)
The next rickshaw wall quoted me 100 Taka well I didn't hold back this time. I yelled at him in Bangla quite loudly. He came down in price straight away and offered to take me for the 30 Taka which was reasonable.
I responded by saying no I will walk you are not a good person for saying that price etc etc
Kind loving patient Christian totally coming to the surface
I walk for about 10mins and get on a rickshaw who is willing to go for the right price.
The whole ride I am getting more and more mad about what happened.
By the time I arrive at church I am fuming such a small issue made me so mad.
Most funny thing was we were studying the Holy Spirit and one of the things mentioned was that our lives demonstrate how much of God we have let in. This happens in the way we react to those around us and in the way we treat others.
WHOOPS
So good to know that I can come to church with my issues and frustrations and the realness of life and not have to pretend I have it all together cause God sure knows I don't.
Church is the place I can come to be filled afresh and renewed to carry on living in the knowledge of a God who loves and forgives.
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