"Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will" Romans 12 1-2
God your mercy and love astounds me
It is so hard to grasp the idea of unconditional love
Help me to experience your love mercy and grace more fully
You call for living sacrifices
Today I offer my life afresh
Help me to see where you are active
and to be used by you
I want to worship you in all that I do
When life is hard may I praise you
When life is busy may I praise you
In the noise and in the quiet may my life worship You
I am so often tempted by this world
When I am tempted be my light
May your word be my weapon
Draw me closer
Your will is good, perfect and pleasing
Help me to see where you have been faithful in the past
Help me to trust you for my future
God you are good
You love me completely
Help me to love others as You love me
Continue to grow me and challenge me
Amen
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Friday, December 3, 2010
Some Ramblings and Thoughts
I have been having lots of great conversations lately. Hence all the extra blogging. This latest conversation was around the comments and shouting I get when walking the streets of Dhaka.
A lot of men in Dhaka believe that western women who are not married are like western women that they see on TV and in the movies. So when I am out walking the street I get yelled at a lot and mostof the time they are rather offensive comments.
As I came home after a particularly bad day of verbal abuse on the street I had a discussion with one of my friends. The conclusions for me were quite radical so I thought I would share.
Why is it that I get so riled up when people shout rude comments at me?
Is it because they aren't true? Possibly
But more likely it is my need and desire to be accepted in this society. And my desire to be seen as someone of good moral standing and a good representative of the Christian faith. And my pride.
What does my anger at being called a prostitute or loose women say about how I view woman who are working as prostitutes usually through circumstances beyond their control. This is a big question for me because when I am finished with full time language study I will be working and living in a red light district.
The conclusion I came to is that I need to be willing to be cast in the same light as those I will live and work alongside. I need to be willing to stand along side them as together we are rejected by society.
I need to care less of what or who others perceive me to be, and think more on who I am in Christ and who I am becoming in the light of his love and grace.
When I think of what Jesus was like on earth, He associated with the outcasts of society, and He was despised and rejected by many as a result.
I have a long way to go to battle my pride and need for acceptance but am glad of the refining that God continues to do in my life.
Blessings
Pip
A lot of men in Dhaka believe that western women who are not married are like western women that they see on TV and in the movies. So when I am out walking the street I get yelled at a lot and mostof the time they are rather offensive comments.
As I came home after a particularly bad day of verbal abuse on the street I had a discussion with one of my friends. The conclusions for me were quite radical so I thought I would share.
Why is it that I get so riled up when people shout rude comments at me?
Is it because they aren't true? Possibly
But more likely it is my need and desire to be accepted in this society. And my desire to be seen as someone of good moral standing and a good representative of the Christian faith. And my pride.
What does my anger at being called a prostitute or loose women say about how I view woman who are working as prostitutes usually through circumstances beyond their control. This is a big question for me because when I am finished with full time language study I will be working and living in a red light district.
The conclusion I came to is that I need to be willing to be cast in the same light as those I will live and work alongside. I need to be willing to stand along side them as together we are rejected by society.
I need to care less of what or who others perceive me to be, and think more on who I am in Christ and who I am becoming in the light of his love and grace.
When I think of what Jesus was like on earth, He associated with the outcasts of society, and He was despised and rejected by many as a result.
I have a long way to go to battle my pride and need for acceptance but am glad of the refining that God continues to do in my life.
Blessings
Pip
Monday, November 29, 2010
A Poem I wrote
God you beauty inspires me
The freshness of rain
The sweet coolness refreshes
Cleanse me again as you do with the earth
The innocent squeals of delight
As a father and daughter hug so tight
Let me be as that daughter to You
Hugging so tight and squealing with delight
The dragonfly, the birds,
The sweet flower too
All of creation cries out to you
Let me praise you with the things that I do
Yet outside these walls are the lost lonely poor
Our rebellion caused them to hunger
And our greed keeps them there
Oh how your heart must break at the sight of your world
God I want to be like You
But I am so far away
Teach me Lord to give of myself
How do I respond to the hurt all around
Give me endurance to stay in the race
To put my pride on the ground
And to pick up your grace
The freshness of rain
The sweet coolness refreshes
Cleanse me again as you do with the earth
The innocent squeals of delight
As a father and daughter hug so tight
Let me be as that daughter to You
Hugging so tight and squealing with delight
The dragonfly, the birds,
The sweet flower too
All of creation cries out to you
Let me praise you with the things that I do
Yet outside these walls are the lost lonely poor
Our rebellion caused them to hunger
And our greed keeps them there
Oh how your heart must break at the sight of your world
God I want to be like You
But I am so far away
Teach me Lord to give of myself
How do I respond to the hurt all around
Give me endurance to stay in the race
To put my pride on the ground
And to pick up your grace
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Treause in unexpected places
I was on my way home with my friend the other day and we stopped into a posh(ish) bakery to buy a treat for some friends. As I was waiting outside I saw a family. Their job was to empty the rubbish bins from the shops along that street. Now this job is not like it would be in the west, no rubbish sacks neatly tied. Just rubbish in varying states of decomposition.
But did this family seem dejected at the menial work that had to do to eat each day, no. They had joy on their faces. They had scored the best street to collect rubbish. This was the street that the rich came to indulge themselves. As they emptied the rubbish bins they foraged as if they were looking for buried treasure. Amongst the flies and decomposing food they found treasures, the left over’s of the rich’s indulgence.
I watched the youngest boy. There was more of him in the rubbish bin than out. Finally he emerged holding triumphantly a half eaten biscuit. He didn’t notice the flies or the fact that it had been sitting in the bin for who knows how long. What he noticed was he got to eat and he was excited. He had a smile on his face from ear to ear. I wish you could have seen it.
I see this sort of thing every day multiple times a day. But this time I stopped to notice. It helped me to remember to take stock and look for the treasure, even when it seems like your rummaging through the rubbish bin.
But did this family seem dejected at the menial work that had to do to eat each day, no. They had joy on their faces. They had scored the best street to collect rubbish. This was the street that the rich came to indulge themselves. As they emptied the rubbish bins they foraged as if they were looking for buried treasure. Amongst the flies and decomposing food they found treasures, the left over’s of the rich’s indulgence.
I watched the youngest boy. There was more of him in the rubbish bin than out. Finally he emerged holding triumphantly a half eaten biscuit. He didn’t notice the flies or the fact that it had been sitting in the bin for who knows how long. What he noticed was he got to eat and he was excited. He had a smile on his face from ear to ear. I wish you could have seen it.
I see this sort of thing every day multiple times a day. But this time I stopped to notice. It helped me to remember to take stock and look for the treasure, even when it seems like your rummaging through the rubbish bin.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A Song that speaks of my heary
Thought I would share the words of a song that speaks so much of where my heart is at.
It is written by T.S.Eliot
Beauty for brokenness, hope for despair
Lord, in the suffering, this is my prayer
Bread for the children, justice, joy, peace
Sunrise to sunset, Your kingdom increase
Shelter for fragile lives, cures for their ills
Work for the craftsmen, trade for their skills
Land for the dispossessed, rights for the weak
Voices to plead the cause, of those who cant speak
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Refuge from cruel wars, havens from fear
Cities for sanctuary, freedoms to share
Peace to the killing fields, scorched earth to green
Christ for the bitterness, His cross for the pain
Rest for the ravaged earth, oceans and streams
Plundered and poisoned, our future, our dreams
Lord, end our madness, carelessness, greed
Make us content with the things that we need
Lighten our darkness, breathe on this flame
Until Your justice burns brightly again
Until the nations learn of Your ways
Seek Your salvation, and bring You thier praise
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Pretty much sums it all up doesnt it
Blessings
Pip
It is written by T.S.Eliot
Beauty for brokenness, hope for despair
Lord, in the suffering, this is my prayer
Bread for the children, justice, joy, peace
Sunrise to sunset, Your kingdom increase
Shelter for fragile lives, cures for their ills
Work for the craftsmen, trade for their skills
Land for the dispossessed, rights for the weak
Voices to plead the cause, of those who cant speak
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Refuge from cruel wars, havens from fear
Cities for sanctuary, freedoms to share
Peace to the killing fields, scorched earth to green
Christ for the bitterness, His cross for the pain
Rest for the ravaged earth, oceans and streams
Plundered and poisoned, our future, our dreams
Lord, end our madness, carelessness, greed
Make us content with the things that we need
Lighten our darkness, breathe on this flame
Until Your justice burns brightly again
Until the nations learn of Your ways
Seek Your salvation, and bring You thier praise
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Pretty much sums it all up doesnt it
Blessings
Pip
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Henri says it best
The last few weeks have been hard, so hard. I have and am having conflict in the house (something which I try to avoid at all costs), aggression and rude comments on the street and this morning it all felt just too much. I wanted to press pause, figure things out, too come up to air and take a deep breath before I had to dive back in.
I was wondering how did it all get so overwhelming, and suddenly I clicked it is because I haven't not been making time to abide with God. I needed to be reminded of who I am..... I am a child of God who is deeply loved by Him.
Henri says it best....
"Your true identity is a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it, you can live in a world that gives you much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity, because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God, and it is as a child of God that you are sent into the world."
Not only is this true for me but it is true for those who are hostile to me on the street. It is true amongst the conflict.
When I take the time to remember who I am in Christ (a beloved child) everything becomes somewhat easier to deal with. I don't need to rely on other people to love or affirm me. Neither do I need to feel discouraged when things go wrong. Rather I need to remind myself of the security I have as a beloved child of God.
To turn to Him in times of trial, to rest in the comfort of His loving grace.
It doesn't make hard times disappear but it does provide comfort to know I am not doing this alone. I can hand everything on to Him and He will carry me, giving me the deep breath I am so longing for.
Blessings
NB Quote by Henri Nouwen taken from his book The Inner Voice of Love - A Journey through anguish to Freedom
I was wondering how did it all get so overwhelming, and suddenly I clicked it is because I haven't not been making time to abide with God. I needed to be reminded of who I am..... I am a child of God who is deeply loved by Him.
Henri says it best....
"Your true identity is a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it, you can live in a world that gives you much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity, because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God, and it is as a child of God that you are sent into the world."
Not only is this true for me but it is true for those who are hostile to me on the street. It is true amongst the conflict.
When I take the time to remember who I am in Christ (a beloved child) everything becomes somewhat easier to deal with. I don't need to rely on other people to love or affirm me. Neither do I need to feel discouraged when things go wrong. Rather I need to remind myself of the security I have as a beloved child of God.
To turn to Him in times of trial, to rest in the comfort of His loving grace.
It doesn't make hard times disappear but it does provide comfort to know I am not doing this alone. I can hand everything on to Him and He will carry me, giving me the deep breath I am so longing for.
Blessings
NB Quote by Henri Nouwen taken from his book The Inner Voice of Love - A Journey through anguish to Freedom
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Reflections on a Mugging - or two
So as most of you out there know a few weeks ago I was mugged twice in one night. It was a few days before Eid which is the big Muslim holiday - and the day on which most people travel to visit their family. One of my friends was a little sad that she had no family to visit so we decided to take her out for dinner instead.
On leaving the restaurant we took a rickshaw out to the main road. We were only on the rickshaw for about a minute when three men stopped our rickshaw flashing knives and a gun at us. This mugging proceeded as calmly as any mugging can. I spoke to the man pointing the knife at me saying Accha Ek minute amar taka deben (ok 1 minute I will give you my money). He double checked my wallet and then let us go. I think our rickshaw walla (driver) was more scared than we were. At the same time our friend was also being mugged about 10meters behind us. They were more violent to him - hitting him with a machete but fortunately his phone took most of the force.
Our rickshaw walla took us to a friends place where we borrowed money for the CNG ride home. I still had my bag with camera and phone so was quite pleased that I hadn't lost everything.
The CNG ride went well enough, we arrived at the apartment, paid the CNG driver, but as soon as he unlocked the door to let us out, the opening was blocked by 6 men with knives and guns. I nearly laughed at that point - what are the odds?
My laughter soon disappeared these men were serious and much more aggressive from the start. They removed us quite forcefully from the CNG grabbing my bag as they pulled me out. I told them in Bangla that we didn't have any money as we had already been mugged before, but it just seemed to make them more angry.
They began lifting up our auna and salwar kameez tops looking for hidden money. As this was going on I only thought that this is so inappropriate to be touching a women this way in this culture. So as the man touched me I hit his hand away - quite hard in fact. I was rewarded with the hit to the head with his gun. At that point I decided to let them look for money. After searching us and not finding any money they let us go.
When we got up to our place I was very shaken. The aggressive nature of the second mugging and the fact it happened right outside our building was very unsettling. I skyped mum dad and my sister who all did a wonderful job at calming me down. - I think I did the opposite to them.
What followed in the hours after the mugging was an outpouring of love and support from all my supporters. So many messages from people saying that they were praying for me. It took this for me to catch a glimpse of the wonderful support I have.
The first few days after the muggings were quite hard. I looked at every man I saw with suspicion and when a beggar would approach me on the street I would jump a mile, I also made sure I was home well before dark.
After the initial first days I felt a prompting to forgive. When I forgave I felt the peace of God wash over me afresh. I found Psalm 91 helpful - this psalm was given to me many times before I left NZ
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. They say of the Lord He is my refuge and my fortress my God in whom I trust" Psalm 91 vs 1-2
Also check out verse 14-16
What I learnt more than anything is that I am not in control. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our own lives. This isn't the case. God is in control. He was in control while I was being mugged , He is in control now. It is just up to us to put our desire for control aside and place our trust in God, who knows us better than we know ourselves.
Till next time
Pip
On leaving the restaurant we took a rickshaw out to the main road. We were only on the rickshaw for about a minute when three men stopped our rickshaw flashing knives and a gun at us. This mugging proceeded as calmly as any mugging can. I spoke to the man pointing the knife at me saying Accha Ek minute amar taka deben (ok 1 minute I will give you my money). He double checked my wallet and then let us go. I think our rickshaw walla (driver) was more scared than we were. At the same time our friend was also being mugged about 10meters behind us. They were more violent to him - hitting him with a machete but fortunately his phone took most of the force.
Our rickshaw walla took us to a friends place where we borrowed money for the CNG ride home. I still had my bag with camera and phone so was quite pleased that I hadn't lost everything.
The CNG ride went well enough, we arrived at the apartment, paid the CNG driver, but as soon as he unlocked the door to let us out, the opening was blocked by 6 men with knives and guns. I nearly laughed at that point - what are the odds?
My laughter soon disappeared these men were serious and much more aggressive from the start. They removed us quite forcefully from the CNG grabbing my bag as they pulled me out. I told them in Bangla that we didn't have any money as we had already been mugged before, but it just seemed to make them more angry.
They began lifting up our auna and salwar kameez tops looking for hidden money. As this was going on I only thought that this is so inappropriate to be touching a women this way in this culture. So as the man touched me I hit his hand away - quite hard in fact. I was rewarded with the hit to the head with his gun. At that point I decided to let them look for money. After searching us and not finding any money they let us go.
When we got up to our place I was very shaken. The aggressive nature of the second mugging and the fact it happened right outside our building was very unsettling. I skyped mum dad and my sister who all did a wonderful job at calming me down. - I think I did the opposite to them.
What followed in the hours after the mugging was an outpouring of love and support from all my supporters. So many messages from people saying that they were praying for me. It took this for me to catch a glimpse of the wonderful support I have.
The first few days after the muggings were quite hard. I looked at every man I saw with suspicion and when a beggar would approach me on the street I would jump a mile, I also made sure I was home well before dark.
After the initial first days I felt a prompting to forgive. When I forgave I felt the peace of God wash over me afresh. I found Psalm 91 helpful - this psalm was given to me many times before I left NZ
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. They say of the Lord He is my refuge and my fortress my God in whom I trust" Psalm 91 vs 1-2
Also check out verse 14-16
What I learnt more than anything is that I am not in control. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our own lives. This isn't the case. God is in control. He was in control while I was being mugged , He is in control now. It is just up to us to put our desire for control aside and place our trust in God, who knows us better than we know ourselves.
Till next time
Pip
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