I sit on a stool next to her bed
She clings to my hand
Desperate
As if my hand is the key to her pain leaving
She cries out with tears in her eyes “Jishu Jishu”
I cry out too Jesus Jesus take away her pain
She reaches her hand out to the small crucifix
and says Jesus how much more difficulty will you give me
and I too echo her prayer God, how much more?
Cancer on top of all the other abuse pain and trauma
Yet she still has hope and she still trusts
Trust and hope in the God who is with
Jishu
She asks me to pray as I say goodbye
What to say? what to ask?
God of pain, God of brokenness,
God who is with, God in solidarity
Be in the pain, be in the brokenness,
Be with,
Part of me says take her now
Let the pain end she has had enough
Part of me says give us a miracle
I don’t want to lose another
Part of me says
Let me have a hope and faith like hers
In the end I say not much
But I know that in the hand holding
In the stroking of her few wisps of hair
She knows she is loved,
Loved not just by me but also a whole community
And most of all she knows she is loved by God
God who is with
Jishu
