This past week has been a hard one, and after a particularly hard day one of the Freeset volunteers asked me how do you keep going?
The answer is I find the joy
So I thought I would share with you all some of the things that bring me joy
1) I find joy in the smile of a new girl just starting in our training programme as she tries to sew her first bag
2) I find joy as I walk home from the market and have my eyes covered from behind by one of our ladies saying "guess who"
3) I find joy in watching our ladies worship
4) I find joy in ladies who have seen that I have been to busy to eat so share their spicy puffed rice with me
5) I find joy in the lady that rubs my back during devotions
6) I find joy when one of our ladies who is sick in hospital grasps my hand in trust that I will make it all better
7) I find joy in my landlady who sees me come home tired at the end of a long day and presents me with a plate of curry and rice so I don't have to cook
8) I find joy in the spontaneous belly laughs that happen many times a day
You see amongst the hard things there is always joy to be found.
Some days you have to peel back the sadness and the trials but the joy is there
I am thankful for this community and the joy it brings
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Visiting the Village
This week I left the city for a few days to head to a district where a good chunk of the women I work with are from. It is not only a trafficking source but also a destination.
I visited the main town as well as three villages.
It was interesting, heartbreaking, anger inducing, but most of all hopeful.
We are looking at starting something new in these areas to stop girls from entering the sex trade.
Two things stood out to me on this trip.
The first was a family. We are talking a mum and two girls 12 and 8.
The mum has been involved in the sex industry for the last 10 years she was trafficked into the area. I have the opportunity to sit down and chat with her. When I ask her if the kids go to school she answers, no how could I send them to school, I have no money.
We chatted for a little while longer, but this family stayed with me the next day and the next day.
I was looking ahead to the future of her girls. Her 12 her old daughter just starting to enter puberty; no school, no opportunity for school, no hope of a job, daughter of a sex worker. What will her future be? Unfortunately she will most likely follow the path of her mother, what else is there? What else does she know?
We are looking at starting work in these villages so this girl and girls just like her don't have to be sold. It's exciting and it gives me hope, hope for this girl.
The second thing that really stuck me as I process all that I saw was the utter evil in human nature. That people could do this to other people. In one village we went to, the girls serviced customers in a shack with only three walls. There was no mattress on the floor no door. For this the girls must pay 200RPS a night. That is more than what I pay for my home.
It is horrific and twisted that others are making so much money of another humans indignity.
In the main town of this district there are a group of older ladies who have been in the trade for many many years. Their situation is even more disturbing, they don't have any place in which to service customers, they must go into the field and do it there.
As I sat and chatted with these ladies men came and went taking a lady into the field and returning 5 mins later. It was sad, and it made me angry. These are real women, with real feelings. How could someone do this to another person. These women had all drunk a lot of alcohol by the time we sat to chat with them, no doubt to mask the pain of what they had to do to be able to eat the next day.
As I was reflecting, processing and praying through what I saw and experienced I came across Psalm 5: 1-3 and I made it my prayer.
Listen to my words, Lord
consider my lament
Hear my cry for help
my King and my God
for to You I pray
In the morning Lord you hear my voice
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly
God let your kingdom come.
I visited the main town as well as three villages.
It was interesting, heartbreaking, anger inducing, but most of all hopeful.
We are looking at starting something new in these areas to stop girls from entering the sex trade.
Two things stood out to me on this trip.
The first was a family. We are talking a mum and two girls 12 and 8.
The mum has been involved in the sex industry for the last 10 years she was trafficked into the area. I have the opportunity to sit down and chat with her. When I ask her if the kids go to school she answers, no how could I send them to school, I have no money.
We chatted for a little while longer, but this family stayed with me the next day and the next day.
I was looking ahead to the future of her girls. Her 12 her old daughter just starting to enter puberty; no school, no opportunity for school, no hope of a job, daughter of a sex worker. What will her future be? Unfortunately she will most likely follow the path of her mother, what else is there? What else does she know?
We are looking at starting work in these villages so this girl and girls just like her don't have to be sold. It's exciting and it gives me hope, hope for this girl.
The second thing that really stuck me as I process all that I saw was the utter evil in human nature. That people could do this to other people. In one village we went to, the girls serviced customers in a shack with only three walls. There was no mattress on the floor no door. For this the girls must pay 200RPS a night. That is more than what I pay for my home.
It is horrific and twisted that others are making so much money of another humans indignity.
In the main town of this district there are a group of older ladies who have been in the trade for many many years. Their situation is even more disturbing, they don't have any place in which to service customers, they must go into the field and do it there.
As I sat and chatted with these ladies men came and went taking a lady into the field and returning 5 mins later. It was sad, and it made me angry. These are real women, with real feelings. How could someone do this to another person. These women had all drunk a lot of alcohol by the time we sat to chat with them, no doubt to mask the pain of what they had to do to be able to eat the next day.
As I was reflecting, processing and praying through what I saw and experienced I came across Psalm 5: 1-3 and I made it my prayer.
Listen to my words, Lord
consider my lament
Hear my cry for help
my King and my God
for to You I pray
In the morning Lord you hear my voice
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly
God let your kingdom come.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I'm moving in
So I found a house and after 5 and a half months of living in Kolkata I am moving in.
I am excited about this new transition, but it is a little daunting as well. I will be moving from a fun lively social flat of foreigners to a small one room place on the outskirts of a red light district.
I guess most people would be thinking, why on earth would you want to do that. Isn't it enough that you live and work in Kolkata!!!
Well yes and no.
I really want to be able to build some good relationships with the women I work with, not only during work hours but outside of work hours, and with the women from my community in general. I know that I will never be like these women. There will always exist barriers to our friendship, but I want to do my part in removing some of the barriers that do exist. It is a hard concept to explain because it is so backward to the Western mindset, but I feel that this is the path God is taking me on and so I am following. A little unsure with lots of excitement at what is in store.
I am taking a step downwards, to try and live a little more simply, to learn from my friends and neighbours and in my learning build relationships and share of love and of hope and of freedom.
I look forward to inviting friends round to mine for a cha after work. To sit and chat with my neighbours to do life in community. To have a home that my friends feel comfortable to just drop by and say hello.
It is amazing the road that God takes us on. 10 years ago I had plans and dreams and none of them involved India, red light areas or simple living. But today I am excited about my little house, I couldn't think of anything else I would rather be doing. I love the women in my community and am excited and privileged to be able to do life with them.
Until next time........
I am excited about this new transition, but it is a little daunting as well. I will be moving from a fun lively social flat of foreigners to a small one room place on the outskirts of a red light district.
I guess most people would be thinking, why on earth would you want to do that. Isn't it enough that you live and work in Kolkata!!!
Well yes and no.
I really want to be able to build some good relationships with the women I work with, not only during work hours but outside of work hours, and with the women from my community in general. I know that I will never be like these women. There will always exist barriers to our friendship, but I want to do my part in removing some of the barriers that do exist. It is a hard concept to explain because it is so backward to the Western mindset, but I feel that this is the path God is taking me on and so I am following. A little unsure with lots of excitement at what is in store.
I am taking a step downwards, to try and live a little more simply, to learn from my friends and neighbours and in my learning build relationships and share of love and of hope and of freedom.
I look forward to inviting friends round to mine for a cha after work. To sit and chat with my neighbours to do life in community. To have a home that my friends feel comfortable to just drop by and say hello.
It is amazing the road that God takes us on. 10 years ago I had plans and dreams and none of them involved India, red light areas or simple living. But today I am excited about my little house, I couldn't think of anything else I would rather be doing. I love the women in my community and am excited and privileged to be able to do life with them.
Until next time........
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Mukti - Freedom
I see you one in a line of hundreds
Forced to stand for sale
No longer seen as human
Rather a product for purchase
I stop, I say hello
We talk
I move on
Your next ‘customer’ awaits
How different is my life to yours
All I know is freedom
All you can see is captivity
Yet our lives collide
I want to come and make it right
Snatch you from that place of horror
And never let you return
But I can’t
Some come running
Others are scared
What will you do?
There is a battle going on
But take heart the war has been won
I leave you in the hands of the Father
May you find peace
May you find Freedom
It is found in the arms of Christ
Thursday, July 14, 2011
It has been about a month since my last blog, and my heart is still in the same place.
Love hurts
In the last few weeks I have seen so much pain and suffering, and while in all cases it has not affected me personally it has affected friends and my community.
Because I love and feel so much a part of this community I stand along side my friends in their grief and it is hard. Love still hurts.
As I stood next to *Rika(name changed) as she cried out at the loss of her brother, my heart broke.
She had lost her older brother the protector of the family, she was already a widow and now no more brothers. I have had the privilege of walking through the grieving process with Rika and her family and it is hard.
I was able to pray for her family - my first making sense Bangla prayer - It has opened up relationships with other members of her family.
There has been other tragedies still to raw to share in a blog, but the feeling remains love hurts.
We gathered as an expat community last night to share and pray amongst the suffering and someone said that they now have a fuller appreciation of the suffering Christ.
How much more must His pain and suffering have been.
I find it so hard to articulate the goings on in my heart.
I am beginning to grasp what this long term journey is going to look like.
It is going to be about doing life with people about sharing in the joys and sharing in the sorrow and suffering.
It is going to be tough because love hurts.
I know this post sounds all doom and gloom but it isn't there is a joy behind the sorrow.
I am in the place God wants me to be, walking along side my community not because I have too but because I love them and you are there for the people you love.
Love hurts
In the last few weeks I have seen so much pain and suffering, and while in all cases it has not affected me personally it has affected friends and my community.
Because I love and feel so much a part of this community I stand along side my friends in their grief and it is hard. Love still hurts.
As I stood next to *Rika(name changed) as she cried out at the loss of her brother, my heart broke.
She had lost her older brother the protector of the family, she was already a widow and now no more brothers. I have had the privilege of walking through the grieving process with Rika and her family and it is hard.
I was able to pray for her family - my first making sense Bangla prayer - It has opened up relationships with other members of her family.
There has been other tragedies still to raw to share in a blog, but the feeling remains love hurts.
We gathered as an expat community last night to share and pray amongst the suffering and someone said that they now have a fuller appreciation of the suffering Christ.
How much more must His pain and suffering have been.
I find it so hard to articulate the goings on in my heart.
I am beginning to grasp what this long term journey is going to look like.
It is going to be about doing life with people about sharing in the joys and sharing in the sorrow and suffering.
It is going to be tough because love hurts.
I know this post sounds all doom and gloom but it isn't there is a joy behind the sorrow.
I am in the place God wants me to be, walking along side my community not because I have too but because I love them and you are there for the people you love.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Love Hurts
As I sit here and think about what to write on my blog and share with you all, I start to struggle. It has been an interesting last few weeks. A rollercoaster of highs and lows and I feel like I am just hanging on for the ride.
I have been hanging out lots with the ladies that work at our business. Visiting with them after work hours getting to know these ladies as friends rather than just woman I work with. I have the advantage of having a bit of language so have found myself in some wonderful conversations about life, love, God and everything in between. I find myself loving the women of this community in a way I don’t think I have ever experienced before. When you find yourself loving on such women your heart begins to ache at the hurt that has happened and the hurt that continues as a result of the life of abuse these women have suffered.
Mother Theresa says it well “True love is love that causes us pain, that hurts, and yet brings us joy. We must pray to God and ask Him to give us the courage to love."
I have started doing health checks on all of the staff at our business. Just basic sorts of questions assessing their general health and well being. It has been a little bit of an eye opener for me as to how much of an impact their past is having on their health today. All most every woman has something wrong with her. Ranging from anaemia to HIV.
When these woman are no longer just patients to me, but friends, woman that I love, I cannot help but have my heart broken over the struggles and hardships they face. That is what the last few weeks have been like. Building these wonderful friendships and then having a broken heart about the circumstances they are in, usually through no fault of their own.
But although my heart breaks, there are moments of joy and happiness too. After a particularly depressing day of bad health reports, a lady excitedly comes up to me saying I think I am pregnant where can I go to get a test. Her eyes were shinning with joy, and it warmed my heart to see such delight in a new life.
I am also excited about the future and getting to a point where we can start to make inroads on some of the more basic health issues, through education and understanding. I am also excited to continue building relationships and love on these women even if it hurts.
Luv you all
Pip
Monday, May 9, 2011
I walked past you today
Sorry it has been a while, I have been back in New Zealand and am now here in India.
Here is something I wrote in my first week in India after daily walking the streets of the red light district
I walked past you today
One among thousands but you stood out
Why, I am not sure
Perhaps it was your quiet dignity
Maybe the smile that masked the pain
I stopped to talk
and you greeted me with such a beautiful smile
but I could see the un shed tears in your eyes
As I spoke of freedom you appeared unsure
A place of freedom for people like me?
but I am so bad
All your life people have lied to you
You have been tricked, abused and suffered at the hands of injustice
It is no wonder you don't trust me or my words of freedom
I prayed for you tonight
You don't know but I pray for your freedom
You touched my heart with your shame and your pain
As I walk the lanes a sea of pain, I shudder
Treated as less than human
Used, abused, left to pick up the pieces and keep on living
I try to enter your world with my message of freedom
So naive as to what you must go through
But I do know my heart has broken for you
You and the thousands like you
May I never forget the pain I felt for you tonight
Pray that I will never loose sight of what it is all about
Pray that I will continue to fight for your freedom so that you may come to know the true freedom giver.
Here is something I wrote in my first week in India after daily walking the streets of the red light district
I walked past you today
One among thousands but you stood out
Why, I am not sure
Perhaps it was your quiet dignity
Maybe the smile that masked the pain
I stopped to talk
and you greeted me with such a beautiful smile
but I could see the un shed tears in your eyes
As I spoke of freedom you appeared unsure
A place of freedom for people like me?
but I am so bad
All your life people have lied to you
You have been tricked, abused and suffered at the hands of injustice
It is no wonder you don't trust me or my words of freedom
I prayed for you tonight
You don't know but I pray for your freedom
You touched my heart with your shame and your pain
As I walk the lanes a sea of pain, I shudder
Treated as less than human
Used, abused, left to pick up the pieces and keep on living
I try to enter your world with my message of freedom
So naive as to what you must go through
But I do know my heart has broken for you
You and the thousands like you
May I never forget the pain I felt for you tonight
Pray that I will never loose sight of what it is all about
Pray that I will continue to fight for your freedom so that you may come to know the true freedom giver.
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