Let your Kingdom come

So over the last few months I have been processing all that living life here means.
I have been working through the idea of what a loving God amongst a community of pain brokenness and despair looks like. I have been working through what the now but not yet looks like in my community.
As part of that process I wrote a prayer which I would love to share

God we are waiting here
Surrounded by darkness and despair
I get down on my knees and beg
Let Your Kingdom come

Day to day I see Your presence
but I am left dissatisfied
We need more of You
Let Your Kingdom come

I trust in Your grace and mercy
but how is it real for
the girl who sells herself night after night
Let Your Kingdom come

I know my faith is weak
and there is much I don't understand
but my heart is broken so I will continue to pray
Let Your Kingdom come

A Glimpse of Hope

It has been a couple of months since my last blog and yes I could say I have been too busy to write, but the reality is that I was tired of writing about sadness, brokenness and despair.

I had no stories of joy to share. I had become overwhelmed by the darkness I saw, so much so that I could not see through it to the light.

But last weekend I caught a glimpse of light. It was more than a glimpse it was a shining ray of hope.
Last weekend I had the privilege of interviewing a potential new girl. We interview not to determine if they get a job but more to better understand their circumstances so we can holistically work towards their freedom.

Lets call this new girl Asha.
Asha has an Aunty who works in the red light area but Asha was from Murshidabad, the village where we are hoping to start a prevention unit.
Asha and her family are poor and could not afford the day to day needs so were sending Asha to work in the red light area. Asha was going to be sacrificed so the rest of the family could survive. This is an all to common story.

But Asha's story doesn't end here.

She met two of the people I work with before she began her life in the sex trade. She was offered a job with us instead of having to sell her body.
As the realisation of what was happening hit Asha's mother she cried.
She cried with joy in the knowledge that her daughter was going to have a chance at life.
Asha never has to know the horrors of what happens in the red light area.
She has been offered her freedom before her dignity has been stripped away.
These are the stories of light and hope that burst through the darkness and despair.
This is what we are about
There will be more of my friends who suffer, there will be more heartache, there will be moments where I cry out asking where is God, there will be moments when I cannot see the goodness of God; but in this moment I see it.
I see God at work in our community, I see His intervention, and so I will hold on to this when all I see is darkness. I will look into the faces of our nearly 200 girls and hold on to that hope.

Yesterday Asha had her first day at work.
Oh what joy and hope she represents

A Life to Remember

This post comes after much thought about how to describe the death of one of my friends who worked with us.

Her death is not the sum total of her life, there was more to her than that. She had joy, she had a faith, she was loved, and she loved.

The days before she died were very precious and special. We laughed together, we cried together, we talked about when she would come back to work, we prayed together.

The day she died was a hard day, but a beautiful day. On that day we gathered as a community/ a family we shared stories about her, we cried, we laughed. The thing I remember most about that day is the way I was looked after by others from our community. They, having known I had been at the hospital brought me sweet tea to drink. My close friend who doesn't work with us, came so she could support me as I supported her when her brother died. These things are beautiful.

The days following were difficult, we were feeling sad, angry, guilty; but we gathered together we prayed and we supported each other.

Beautiful girl
Loved and cherished, it's a shame you did not understand.
Beautiful girl
Mother, wife, sister, friend, there is so much you have left behind
Beautiful girl
We will miss your cheeky smile, your infectious laugh
Beautiful girl
How we have grieved your loss
Beautiful girl
You taught me so much
Beautiful girl
We miss you

The Remedy

Came across this song on my Itunes today and thought the lyrics by David Crowder Band were good enough to share.

Here we are
Here we are
The broken and used
Mistreated, abused
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
The beautiful one
Who came like a Son
Here You are

So we lift up our voices
We open our hands
To cling to the love
That we can’t comprehend

Oh, lift up your voices
And lift up your heads
To sing of the love
That has freed us from sin

He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who embraced us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy

Here we are
Here we are
Bandaged and bruised
Awaiting a cure
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
Our beautiful King
Bringing relief
Here You are with us

So we lift up our voices
And open our hands
Let go of the things
That have kept us from Him

He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who forgave us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy


Oh, I can’t comprehend
I can’t take it all in
Never understand
Such perfect love come
For the broken and beat
For the wounded and weak
Oh, come fall at His feet
He’s the remedy
He’s the remedy

So sing, sing

You are the one
Who has saved us
You are the one
Who forgave us
You are the one who has come
And is coming again
To make it alright
Oh, to make it alright
You’re the remedy
Oh, in us
You’re the remedy

Finding the joy

This past week has been a hard one, and after a particularly hard day one of the Freeset volunteers asked me how do you keep going?
The answer is I find the joy
So I thought I would share with you all some of the things that bring me joy
1) I find joy in the smile of a new girl just starting in our training programme as she tries to sew her first bag
2) I find joy as I walk home from the market and have my eyes covered from behind by one of our ladies saying "guess who"
3) I find joy in watching our ladies worship
4) I find joy in ladies who have seen that I have been to busy to eat so share their spicy puffed rice with me
5) I find joy in the lady that rubs my back during devotions
6) I find joy when one of our ladies who is sick in hospital grasps my hand in trust that I will make it all better
7) I find joy in my landlady who sees me come home tired at the end of a long day and presents me with a plate of curry and rice so I don't have to cook
8) I find joy in the spontaneous belly laughs that happen many times a day

You see amongst the hard things there is always joy to be found.
Some days you have to peel back the sadness and the trials but the joy is there
I am thankful for this community and the joy it brings

Visiting the Village

This week I left the city for a few days to head to a district where a good chunk of the women I work with are from. It is not only a trafficking source but also a destination.
I visited the main town as well as three villages.
It was interesting, heartbreaking, anger inducing, but most of all hopeful.
We are looking at starting something new in these areas to stop girls from entering the sex trade.
Two things stood out to me on this trip.
The first was a family. We are talking a mum and two girls 12 and 8.
The mum has been involved in the sex industry for the last 10 years she was trafficked into the area. I have the opportunity to sit down and chat with her. When I ask her if the kids go to school she answers, no how could I send them to school, I have no money.
We chatted for a little while longer, but this family stayed with me the next day and the next day.
I was looking ahead to the future of her girls. Her 12 her old daughter just starting to enter puberty; no school, no opportunity for school, no hope of a job, daughter of a sex worker. What will her future be? Unfortunately she will most likely follow the path of her mother, what else is there? What else does she know?
We are looking at starting work in these villages so this girl and girls just like her don't have to be sold. It's exciting and it gives me hope, hope for this girl.

The second thing that really stuck me as I process all that I saw was the utter evil in human nature. That people could do this to other people. In one village we went to, the girls serviced customers in a shack with only three walls. There was no mattress on the floor no door. For this the girls must pay 200RPS a night. That is more than what I pay for my home.
It is horrific and twisted that others are making so much money of another humans indignity.
In the main town of this district there are a group of older ladies who have been in the trade for many many years. Their situation is even more disturbing, they don't have any place in which to service customers, they must go into the field and do it there.
As I sat and chatted with these ladies men came and went taking a lady into the field and returning 5 mins later. It was sad, and it made me angry. These are real women, with real feelings. How could someone do this to another person. These women had all drunk a lot of alcohol by the time we sat to chat with them, no doubt to mask the pain of what they had to do to be able to eat the next day.

As I was reflecting, processing and praying through what I saw and experienced I came across Psalm 5: 1-3 and I made it my prayer.
Listen to my words, Lord
consider my lament
Hear my cry for help
my King and my God
for to You I pray
In the morning Lord you hear my voice
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly

God let your kingdom come.

I'm moving in

So I found a house and after 5 and a half months of living in Kolkata I am moving in.
I am excited about this new transition, but it is a little daunting as well. I will be moving from a fun lively social flat of foreigners to a small one room place on the outskirts of a red light district.
I guess most people would be thinking, why on earth would you want to do that. Isn't it enough that you live and work in Kolkata!!!
Well yes and no.
I really want to be able to build some good relationships with the women I work with, not only during work hours but outside of work hours, and with the women from my community in general. I know that I will never be like these women. There will always exist barriers to our friendship, but I want to do my part in removing some of the barriers that do exist. It is a hard concept to explain because it is so backward to the Western mindset, but I feel that this is the path God is taking me on and so I am following. A little unsure with lots of excitement at what is in store.
I am taking a step downwards, to try and live a little more simply, to learn from my friends and neighbours and in my learning build relationships and share of love and of hope and of freedom.
I look forward to inviting friends round to mine for a cha after work. To sit and chat with my neighbours to do life in community. To have a home that my friends feel comfortable to just drop by and say hello.
It is amazing the road that God takes us on. 10 years ago I had plans and dreams and none of them involved India, red light areas or simple living. But today I am excited about my little house, I couldn't think of anything else I would rather be doing. I love the women in my community and am excited and privileged to be able to do life with them.
Until next time........