I have been having lots of great conversations lately. Hence all the extra blogging. This latest conversation was around the comments and shouting I get when walking the streets of Dhaka.
A lot of men in Dhaka believe that western women who are not married are like western women that they see on TV and in the movies. So when I am out walking the street I get yelled at a lot and mostof the time they are rather offensive comments.
As I came home after a particularly bad day of verbal abuse on the street I had a discussion with one of my friends. The conclusions for me were quite radical so I thought I would share.
Why is it that I get so riled up when people shout rude comments at me?
Is it because they aren't true? Possibly
But more likely it is my need and desire to be accepted in this society. And my desire to be seen as someone of good moral standing and a good representative of the Christian faith. And my pride.
What does my anger at being called a prostitute or loose women say about how I view woman who are working as prostitutes usually through circumstances beyond their control. This is a big question for me because when I am finished with full time language study I will be working and living in a red light district.
The conclusion I came to is that I need to be willing to be cast in the same light as those I will live and work alongside. I need to be willing to stand along side them as together we are rejected by society.
I need to care less of what or who others perceive me to be, and think more on who I am in Christ and who I am becoming in the light of his love and grace.
When I think of what Jesus was like on earth, He associated with the outcasts of society, and He was despised and rejected by many as a result.
I have a long way to go to battle my pride and need for acceptance but am glad of the refining that God continues to do in my life.
Blessings
Pip
Friday, December 3, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
A Poem I wrote
God you beauty inspires me
The freshness of rain
The sweet coolness refreshes
Cleanse me again as you do with the earth
The innocent squeals of delight
As a father and daughter hug so tight
Let me be as that daughter to You
Hugging so tight and squealing with delight
The dragonfly, the birds,
The sweet flower too
All of creation cries out to you
Let me praise you with the things that I do
Yet outside these walls are the lost lonely poor
Our rebellion caused them to hunger
And our greed keeps them there
Oh how your heart must break at the sight of your world
God I want to be like You
But I am so far away
Teach me Lord to give of myself
How do I respond to the hurt all around
Give me endurance to stay in the race
To put my pride on the ground
And to pick up your grace
The freshness of rain
The sweet coolness refreshes
Cleanse me again as you do with the earth
The innocent squeals of delight
As a father and daughter hug so tight
Let me be as that daughter to You
Hugging so tight and squealing with delight
The dragonfly, the birds,
The sweet flower too
All of creation cries out to you
Let me praise you with the things that I do
Yet outside these walls are the lost lonely poor
Our rebellion caused them to hunger
And our greed keeps them there
Oh how your heart must break at the sight of your world
God I want to be like You
But I am so far away
Teach me Lord to give of myself
How do I respond to the hurt all around
Give me endurance to stay in the race
To put my pride on the ground
And to pick up your grace
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Treause in unexpected places
I was on my way home with my friend the other day and we stopped into a posh(ish) bakery to buy a treat for some friends. As I was waiting outside I saw a family. Their job was to empty the rubbish bins from the shops along that street. Now this job is not like it would be in the west, no rubbish sacks neatly tied. Just rubbish in varying states of decomposition.
But did this family seem dejected at the menial work that had to do to eat each day, no. They had joy on their faces. They had scored the best street to collect rubbish. This was the street that the rich came to indulge themselves. As they emptied the rubbish bins they foraged as if they were looking for buried treasure. Amongst the flies and decomposing food they found treasures, the left over’s of the rich’s indulgence.
I watched the youngest boy. There was more of him in the rubbish bin than out. Finally he emerged holding triumphantly a half eaten biscuit. He didn’t notice the flies or the fact that it had been sitting in the bin for who knows how long. What he noticed was he got to eat and he was excited. He had a smile on his face from ear to ear. I wish you could have seen it.
I see this sort of thing every day multiple times a day. But this time I stopped to notice. It helped me to remember to take stock and look for the treasure, even when it seems like your rummaging through the rubbish bin.
But did this family seem dejected at the menial work that had to do to eat each day, no. They had joy on their faces. They had scored the best street to collect rubbish. This was the street that the rich came to indulge themselves. As they emptied the rubbish bins they foraged as if they were looking for buried treasure. Amongst the flies and decomposing food they found treasures, the left over’s of the rich’s indulgence.
I watched the youngest boy. There was more of him in the rubbish bin than out. Finally he emerged holding triumphantly a half eaten biscuit. He didn’t notice the flies or the fact that it had been sitting in the bin for who knows how long. What he noticed was he got to eat and he was excited. He had a smile on his face from ear to ear. I wish you could have seen it.
I see this sort of thing every day multiple times a day. But this time I stopped to notice. It helped me to remember to take stock and look for the treasure, even when it seems like your rummaging through the rubbish bin.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A Song that speaks of my heary
Thought I would share the words of a song that speaks so much of where my heart is at.
It is written by T.S.Eliot
Beauty for brokenness, hope for despair
Lord, in the suffering, this is my prayer
Bread for the children, justice, joy, peace
Sunrise to sunset, Your kingdom increase
Shelter for fragile lives, cures for their ills
Work for the craftsmen, trade for their skills
Land for the dispossessed, rights for the weak
Voices to plead the cause, of those who cant speak
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Refuge from cruel wars, havens from fear
Cities for sanctuary, freedoms to share
Peace to the killing fields, scorched earth to green
Christ for the bitterness, His cross for the pain
Rest for the ravaged earth, oceans and streams
Plundered and poisoned, our future, our dreams
Lord, end our madness, carelessness, greed
Make us content with the things that we need
Lighten our darkness, breathe on this flame
Until Your justice burns brightly again
Until the nations learn of Your ways
Seek Your salvation, and bring You thier praise
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Pretty much sums it all up doesnt it
Blessings
Pip
It is written by T.S.Eliot
Beauty for brokenness, hope for despair
Lord, in the suffering, this is my prayer
Bread for the children, justice, joy, peace
Sunrise to sunset, Your kingdom increase
Shelter for fragile lives, cures for their ills
Work for the craftsmen, trade for their skills
Land for the dispossessed, rights for the weak
Voices to plead the cause, of those who cant speak
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Refuge from cruel wars, havens from fear
Cities for sanctuary, freedoms to share
Peace to the killing fields, scorched earth to green
Christ for the bitterness, His cross for the pain
Rest for the ravaged earth, oceans and streams
Plundered and poisoned, our future, our dreams
Lord, end our madness, carelessness, greed
Make us content with the things that we need
Lighten our darkness, breathe on this flame
Until Your justice burns brightly again
Until the nations learn of Your ways
Seek Your salvation, and bring You thier praise
God of the poor, friend of the weak
Give us compassion, we pray
Melt our cold hearts, let tears fall like rain
Come, change our love
From a spark, to a flame
Pretty much sums it all up doesnt it
Blessings
Pip
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Henri says it best
The last few weeks have been hard, so hard. I have and am having conflict in the house (something which I try to avoid at all costs), aggression and rude comments on the street and this morning it all felt just too much. I wanted to press pause, figure things out, too come up to air and take a deep breath before I had to dive back in.
I was wondering how did it all get so overwhelming, and suddenly I clicked it is because I haven't not been making time to abide with God. I needed to be reminded of who I am..... I am a child of God who is deeply loved by Him.
Henri says it best....
"Your true identity is a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it, you can live in a world that gives you much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity, because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God, and it is as a child of God that you are sent into the world."
Not only is this true for me but it is true for those who are hostile to me on the street. It is true amongst the conflict.
When I take the time to remember who I am in Christ (a beloved child) everything becomes somewhat easier to deal with. I don't need to rely on other people to love or affirm me. Neither do I need to feel discouraged when things go wrong. Rather I need to remind myself of the security I have as a beloved child of God.
To turn to Him in times of trial, to rest in the comfort of His loving grace.
It doesn't make hard times disappear but it does provide comfort to know I am not doing this alone. I can hand everything on to Him and He will carry me, giving me the deep breath I am so longing for.
Blessings
NB Quote by Henri Nouwen taken from his book The Inner Voice of Love - A Journey through anguish to Freedom
I was wondering how did it all get so overwhelming, and suddenly I clicked it is because I haven't not been making time to abide with God. I needed to be reminded of who I am..... I am a child of God who is deeply loved by Him.
Henri says it best....
"Your true identity is a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it, you can live in a world that gives you much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity, because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God, and it is as a child of God that you are sent into the world."
Not only is this true for me but it is true for those who are hostile to me on the street. It is true amongst the conflict.
When I take the time to remember who I am in Christ (a beloved child) everything becomes somewhat easier to deal with. I don't need to rely on other people to love or affirm me. Neither do I need to feel discouraged when things go wrong. Rather I need to remind myself of the security I have as a beloved child of God.
To turn to Him in times of trial, to rest in the comfort of His loving grace.
It doesn't make hard times disappear but it does provide comfort to know I am not doing this alone. I can hand everything on to Him and He will carry me, giving me the deep breath I am so longing for.
Blessings
NB Quote by Henri Nouwen taken from his book The Inner Voice of Love - A Journey through anguish to Freedom
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Reflections on a Mugging - or two
So as most of you out there know a few weeks ago I was mugged twice in one night. It was a few days before Eid which is the big Muslim holiday - and the day on which most people travel to visit their family. One of my friends was a little sad that she had no family to visit so we decided to take her out for dinner instead.
On leaving the restaurant we took a rickshaw out to the main road. We were only on the rickshaw for about a minute when three men stopped our rickshaw flashing knives and a gun at us. This mugging proceeded as calmly as any mugging can. I spoke to the man pointing the knife at me saying Accha Ek minute amar taka deben (ok 1 minute I will give you my money). He double checked my wallet and then let us go. I think our rickshaw walla (driver) was more scared than we were. At the same time our friend was also being mugged about 10meters behind us. They were more violent to him - hitting him with a machete but fortunately his phone took most of the force.
Our rickshaw walla took us to a friends place where we borrowed money for the CNG ride home. I still had my bag with camera and phone so was quite pleased that I hadn't lost everything.
The CNG ride went well enough, we arrived at the apartment, paid the CNG driver, but as soon as he unlocked the door to let us out, the opening was blocked by 6 men with knives and guns. I nearly laughed at that point - what are the odds?
My laughter soon disappeared these men were serious and much more aggressive from the start. They removed us quite forcefully from the CNG grabbing my bag as they pulled me out. I told them in Bangla that we didn't have any money as we had already been mugged before, but it just seemed to make them more angry.
They began lifting up our auna and salwar kameez tops looking for hidden money. As this was going on I only thought that this is so inappropriate to be touching a women this way in this culture. So as the man touched me I hit his hand away - quite hard in fact. I was rewarded with the hit to the head with his gun. At that point I decided to let them look for money. After searching us and not finding any money they let us go.
When we got up to our place I was very shaken. The aggressive nature of the second mugging and the fact it happened right outside our building was very unsettling. I skyped mum dad and my sister who all did a wonderful job at calming me down. - I think I did the opposite to them.
What followed in the hours after the mugging was an outpouring of love and support from all my supporters. So many messages from people saying that they were praying for me. It took this for me to catch a glimpse of the wonderful support I have.
The first few days after the muggings were quite hard. I looked at every man I saw with suspicion and when a beggar would approach me on the street I would jump a mile, I also made sure I was home well before dark.
After the initial first days I felt a prompting to forgive. When I forgave I felt the peace of God wash over me afresh. I found Psalm 91 helpful - this psalm was given to me many times before I left NZ
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. They say of the Lord He is my refuge and my fortress my God in whom I trust" Psalm 91 vs 1-2
Also check out verse 14-16
What I learnt more than anything is that I am not in control. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our own lives. This isn't the case. God is in control. He was in control while I was being mugged , He is in control now. It is just up to us to put our desire for control aside and place our trust in God, who knows us better than we know ourselves.
Till next time
Pip
On leaving the restaurant we took a rickshaw out to the main road. We were only on the rickshaw for about a minute when three men stopped our rickshaw flashing knives and a gun at us. This mugging proceeded as calmly as any mugging can. I spoke to the man pointing the knife at me saying Accha Ek minute amar taka deben (ok 1 minute I will give you my money). He double checked my wallet and then let us go. I think our rickshaw walla (driver) was more scared than we were. At the same time our friend was also being mugged about 10meters behind us. They were more violent to him - hitting him with a machete but fortunately his phone took most of the force.
Our rickshaw walla took us to a friends place where we borrowed money for the CNG ride home. I still had my bag with camera and phone so was quite pleased that I hadn't lost everything.
The CNG ride went well enough, we arrived at the apartment, paid the CNG driver, but as soon as he unlocked the door to let us out, the opening was blocked by 6 men with knives and guns. I nearly laughed at that point - what are the odds?
My laughter soon disappeared these men were serious and much more aggressive from the start. They removed us quite forcefully from the CNG grabbing my bag as they pulled me out. I told them in Bangla that we didn't have any money as we had already been mugged before, but it just seemed to make them more angry.
They began lifting up our auna and salwar kameez tops looking for hidden money. As this was going on I only thought that this is so inappropriate to be touching a women this way in this culture. So as the man touched me I hit his hand away - quite hard in fact. I was rewarded with the hit to the head with his gun. At that point I decided to let them look for money. After searching us and not finding any money they let us go.
When we got up to our place I was very shaken. The aggressive nature of the second mugging and the fact it happened right outside our building was very unsettling. I skyped mum dad and my sister who all did a wonderful job at calming me down. - I think I did the opposite to them.
What followed in the hours after the mugging was an outpouring of love and support from all my supporters. So many messages from people saying that they were praying for me. It took this for me to catch a glimpse of the wonderful support I have.
The first few days after the muggings were quite hard. I looked at every man I saw with suspicion and when a beggar would approach me on the street I would jump a mile, I also made sure I was home well before dark.
After the initial first days I felt a prompting to forgive. When I forgave I felt the peace of God wash over me afresh. I found Psalm 91 helpful - this psalm was given to me many times before I left NZ
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. They say of the Lord He is my refuge and my fortress my God in whom I trust" Psalm 91 vs 1-2
Also check out verse 14-16
What I learnt more than anything is that I am not in control. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our own lives. This isn't the case. God is in control. He was in control while I was being mugged , He is in control now. It is just up to us to put our desire for control aside and place our trust in God, who knows us better than we know ourselves.
Till next time
Pip
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Things I love about Dhaka
Over the last month or so I have been experiencing a mild form of culture shock. It was kind of inevitable really. I have had no big meltdowns but was just finding everyday things and everyday interactions very frustrating. Recently I had to leave Dhaka to escort a person to Bangkok for surgery, while I was there I was thinking and praying a bit and decided to write a list of things I love about living in Dhaka. Looking at this list has helped me over this period of frustration. So I am going to share this list or some of it with you....
1) I love the way Dhaka looks after it rains
2) I love that I get to learn a new language
3) I love that I get opportunities to serve in such practical ways
4) I love how friendly people are here
5) I love that if I don't know which bus to take there are loads of people willing to help
6) I love that I am reminded daily of the poor and it puts my wants into perspective
7) I love that I constantly meet new people doing amazing things with their lives
8) I love that God continually challenges me
9) I love that when living here I am more dependent on God
10) I love that I am taught much by the poor of Dhaka
Hope you are all doing well sorry haven't blogged in a while will try to be better.
1) I love the way Dhaka looks after it rains
2) I love that I get to learn a new language
3) I love that I get opportunities to serve in such practical ways
4) I love how friendly people are here
5) I love that if I don't know which bus to take there are loads of people willing to help
6) I love that I am reminded daily of the poor and it puts my wants into perspective
7) I love that I constantly meet new people doing amazing things with their lives
8) I love that God continually challenges me
9) I love that when living here I am more dependent on God
10) I love that I am taught much by the poor of Dhaka
Hope you are all doing well sorry haven't blogged in a while will try to be better.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
New Place and Catching the Bus
Last week I moved into my new place. It is a great light 3 bed apartment which I share with 2 other girls from England. My place is now on the other side of town, so I have been able to experience the delight of Dhaka buses.
Dhaka buses are great, they are cheap and you can go anywhere as long as you know which one to get on.
Language school is now a 30min bus ride there and an 1hr 30min ride home due to the increase in traffic. All for between 10 and 20 cents.
The only problem is that sometimes those Dhaka buses are pretty full.
Yesterday I needed to get from Mohakali to Gulshan 2 the bus that takes that route is small, about the size of a van. I had been waiting about 20 mins when the right bus finally came. However inside the small bus was about 40 people, it looked impossible for an ant to get on the bus let alone a person or the 10 that were chasing after the bus.
So I decided now or never and ran with all the others, grabbing hold of the rail and pushing my way on all while the bus was still moving. I rode most of the way while holding the rail half in half out of the bus. This I discovered is a great way to ride, catching the breeze as we stop and start through traffic.
After a while some of the people got of the bus and I had to retreat to the more conventional ladies seat. How boring!
I do love those Dhaka buses.
Dhaka buses are great, they are cheap and you can go anywhere as long as you know which one to get on.
Language school is now a 30min bus ride there and an 1hr 30min ride home due to the increase in traffic. All for between 10 and 20 cents.
The only problem is that sometimes those Dhaka buses are pretty full.
Yesterday I needed to get from Mohakali to Gulshan 2 the bus that takes that route is small, about the size of a van. I had been waiting about 20 mins when the right bus finally came. However inside the small bus was about 40 people, it looked impossible for an ant to get on the bus let alone a person or the 10 that were chasing after the bus.
So I decided now or never and ran with all the others, grabbing hold of the rail and pushing my way on all while the bus was still moving. I rode most of the way while holding the rail half in half out of the bus. This I discovered is a great way to ride, catching the breeze as we stop and start through traffic.
After a while some of the people got of the bus and I had to retreat to the more conventional ladies seat. How boring!
I do love those Dhaka buses.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Language and Acting
This week I started a new module at language school called reading and writing.
Sounds easy but it isn't Here is a sample of what I had to read aloud in class today and understand
ঢাকা বাংলাদেশের রাজধানী | এটা বাংলাদেশের মাঝখানে সবচেয়ে বড় ,ও সুন্দর শহর | এর দ্ক্কিনদেকে দুরিন্ন্ধা নদী আছে |
It seems like the difficulty of my class has jumped a few levels. On the plus side it has made me come home and do a lot of study.
It seems like Bangla is now everywhere, even the headings on the page I type my blog on has switched to Bangla script. I have also been asked to teach a one off health class to slum school children in Bangla.
It is really good though because I have been praying for opportunities to take my language learning up a gear :) Won't be praying that again for a while.
On the plus side I have noticed my conversational Bangla improving, and recently have had several good conversations with locals in Bangla.
Last week I also acted for a Bangla TV show the show is called ইত্যাদি (etc) and every year it does a comedy special with all foreign actors which airs after Ramadan. This year the scene is on a Dhaka bus. All the characters are foreigners including the bus driver ( who did do some driving), a women vomiting out the window, and various hawkers selling things on the bus.
I played a women who was yelling at a male passenger sitting in a woman's seat. I should get a copy of the segment on DVD - but not sure that any one will get to see it just yet.....
Life has been good the past week - no more yelling at rickshaw drivers - I move house on Friday which I am looking forward to.
Thanks for reading
Sounds easy but it isn't Here is a sample of what I had to read aloud in class today and understand
ঢাকা বাংলাদেশের রাজধানী | এটা বাংলাদেশের মাঝখানে সবচেয়ে বড় ,ও সুন্দর শহর | এর দ্ক্কিনদেকে দুরিন্ন্ধা নদী আছে |
It seems like the difficulty of my class has jumped a few levels. On the plus side it has made me come home and do a lot of study.
It seems like Bangla is now everywhere, even the headings on the page I type my blog on has switched to Bangla script. I have also been asked to teach a one off health class to slum school children in Bangla.
It is really good though because I have been praying for opportunities to take my language learning up a gear :) Won't be praying that again for a while.
On the plus side I have noticed my conversational Bangla improving, and recently have had several good conversations with locals in Bangla.
Last week I also acted for a Bangla TV show the show is called ইত্যাদি (etc) and every year it does a comedy special with all foreign actors which airs after Ramadan. This year the scene is on a Dhaka bus. All the characters are foreigners including the bus driver ( who did do some driving), a women vomiting out the window, and various hawkers selling things on the bus.
I played a women who was yelling at a male passenger sitting in a woman's seat. I should get a copy of the segment on DVD - but not sure that any one will get to see it just yet.....
Life has been good the past week - no more yelling at rickshaw drivers - I move house on Friday which I am looking forward to.
Thanks for reading
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Feeling Super Holy or NOT!!!
There is something deep down in my subconscious that thinks all Christians are holy but somehow manage to be way more Holy on their way to church during church and returning home.
This last Friday (that is the day I go to church here) I proved that this so is not the case :)
So to put thing into context I get a rickshaw to church it usually cost between 30 and 40 Taka depending on how long I bargain for.
So I am running late for church (nothing to unusual) I start to look for a rickshaw the first rickshaw wallah asks for 150 Taka - I respond in Bangla saying no way too expensive.
I go to the next rickshaw wallah by this time I am a little mad (how dare he try to charge me 150 Taka doesn't he know that I know how much it should be)
The next rickshaw wall quoted me 100 Taka well I didn't hold back this time. I yelled at him in Bangla quite loudly. He came down in price straight away and offered to take me for the 30 Taka which was reasonable.
I responded by saying no I will walk you are not a good person for saying that price etc etc
Kind loving patient Christian totally coming to the surface
I walk for about 10mins and get on a rickshaw who is willing to go for the right price.
The whole ride I am getting more and more mad about what happened.
By the time I arrive at church I am fuming such a small issue made me so mad.
Most funny thing was we were studying the Holy Spirit and one of the things mentioned was that our lives demonstrate how much of God we have let in. This happens in the way we react to those around us and in the way we treat others.
WHOOPS
So good to know that I can come to church with my issues and frustrations and the realness of life and not have to pretend I have it all together cause God sure knows I don't.
Church is the place I can come to be filled afresh and renewed to carry on living in the knowledge of a God who loves and forgives.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Justice and Forgiveness
In my last blog post I wrote about how I have been challenged during my time in Kolkata. Seeing girls who had been sold and subsequently trapped in the sex trade brought to the surface feelings of compassion and love as well as intense anger at those responsible for the selling and abuse of these girls. I felt deep love and compassion for the women who are trapped in these situations and deep anger at those responsible.
God has been challenging me on my anger and sense of injustice. It is easy for me to judge these people for their actions however God has challenged me to love them as well. They are entitled to God’s grace just as much as I am. God’s grace is sufficient to cover all sins. This has been quite hard for me to work through. I feel like there should be some justice, why can’t God get His thunderbolt and aim it in their direction? When it comes to me though do I want my sins judged as harshly? No
My thoughts and actions show that I think I have more entitlement to God’s grace, love and mercy than others. This is obviously not correct but my thoughts prove that deep down this is what I believe. I think of the story of prodigal son told in Luke. I am like the older brother, instead rejoicing at the return of the younger brother I sit and sulk in a corner at the injustice of it all.
This has really challenged me and made me re-examine my motivation. If I am doing this work purely to bring glory to the Father, then I will love all unconditionally. However if I do not love all and harbour resentment and anger then my motivation is myself and my feelings. Wow, hard stuff.
I am grateful for the refining that God is doing in my life as I walk this journey with Him.
God has been challenging me on my anger and sense of injustice. It is easy for me to judge these people for their actions however God has challenged me to love them as well. They are entitled to God’s grace just as much as I am. God’s grace is sufficient to cover all sins. This has been quite hard for me to work through. I feel like there should be some justice, why can’t God get His thunderbolt and aim it in their direction? When it comes to me though do I want my sins judged as harshly? No
My thoughts and actions show that I think I have more entitlement to God’s grace, love and mercy than others. This is obviously not correct but my thoughts prove that deep down this is what I believe. I think of the story of prodigal son told in Luke. I am like the older brother, instead rejoicing at the return of the younger brother I sit and sulk in a corner at the injustice of it all.
This has really challenged me and made me re-examine my motivation. If I am doing this work purely to bring glory to the Father, then I will love all unconditionally. However if I do not love all and harbour resentment and anger then my motivation is myself and my feelings. Wow, hard stuff.
I am grateful for the refining that God is doing in my life as I walk this journey with Him.
Kolkata Visit
A few days ago, I got the chance to visit Kolkata reconnect with the team there, just chat and hangout with the women. It has to go down as one of my best weeks since I left New Zealand. As soon as I arrived, it felt like I had come home. The hard part was that this was only a short trip and I still have at least 10 months before I am back for good.
I spent my days up in finishing with the women, trimming the threads off and checking the bags before they were packed up ready to be sent. From the moment I arrived the girls addresses me as either didi (which means Aunty) or in the intimate pronoun form. I spoke with the girls laughed with the girls even got told off for distracting the girls. “didi ekhon kaj korechi. Jokhon Cha khabo tokon bungla bolbo” Now is work time at cha time you can speak Bungla. I also gave some advice here and there for the girls who were sick or had hurt themselves as well as other foreigners who were sick.
The time spent here has been such a blessing. It has been difficult living and learning in a country that is not my old home or my new home. It has been a bit of a time of limbo. I know that Dhaka is the best thing for right now to get myself ready for Kolkata however it is nice to have a glance at what is to come. I am excited about what is in store.
I have been challenged by God in new ways and those thoughts will come in the next blog once they have been processed a little more. Hope that life is going well for all of you who read my updates and that you will continue to journey with me as I live life here in Dhaka and then Kolkata.
I spent my days up in finishing with the women, trimming the threads off and checking the bags before they were packed up ready to be sent. From the moment I arrived the girls addresses me as either didi (which means Aunty) or in the intimate pronoun form. I spoke with the girls laughed with the girls even got told off for distracting the girls. “didi ekhon kaj korechi. Jokhon Cha khabo tokon bungla bolbo” Now is work time at cha time you can speak Bungla. I also gave some advice here and there for the girls who were sick or had hurt themselves as well as other foreigners who were sick.
The time spent here has been such a blessing. It has been difficult living and learning in a country that is not my old home or my new home. It has been a bit of a time of limbo. I know that Dhaka is the best thing for right now to get myself ready for Kolkata however it is nice to have a glance at what is to come. I am excited about what is in store.
I have been challenged by God in new ways and those thoughts will come in the next blog once they have been processed a little more. Hope that life is going well for all of you who read my updates and that you will continue to journey with me as I live life here in Dhaka and then Kolkata.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Hard Times Fun Times
So the last few weeks have been hard at times but on the whole fantastic.
I am still tracking along with my Bungla studies which at times can be hilarious. The other people in my class do not have English as their first language so we often have to act things out so that they understand. A couple of days ago we were reading a piece of text that had an interaction between a doctor and a patient. Our teacher spent about 15mins trying to explain what diarrhea was. By the end we had pictures and everything. Hilarious.
I am still looking at new ways I can practice my language outside of class time, and found children to be most helpful. They are naturally inquisitive so ask a million questions. One of the helpers at the place I am staying have two children and I love to chat with them. They laugh when I make mistakes but are the most patient teachers.
Through this same worker I have met people from the area she lives in. Most are poor and can not afford quality health care. She takes me to see people she knows are sick for me to help.
One lady I saw last week was 15 weeks pregnant she had classic symptoms of a urinary tract infection. The week before I saw her she had been to the doctor handed over the little money they had only to come back with a set of results she didn't understand and a large supply of medicines she didn't need. The one medicine she did need (an antibiotic for the urinary infection) was not in the stack of medicines, despite test results saying she had a urinary tract infection.
As a nurse this stuff is really hard to see all of that money wasted when she and her family have precious little to spare. I am thankful for the experience I have had and a skill so that I could practically help this person and others. I am humbled to involved in what God is doing in this community.
The crazy occurrences of life here still happen but it now doesn't feel crazy it just feels normal.
I head to Kolcutta in a few days to reconnect with the team there. It will be the first time since I made the decision to make Kolcutta my home that I would have been back. Almost two years ago. But first I have a Bungla exam to take.
I am still tracking along with my Bungla studies which at times can be hilarious. The other people in my class do not have English as their first language so we often have to act things out so that they understand. A couple of days ago we were reading a piece of text that had an interaction between a doctor and a patient. Our teacher spent about 15mins trying to explain what diarrhea was. By the end we had pictures and everything. Hilarious.
I am still looking at new ways I can practice my language outside of class time, and found children to be most helpful. They are naturally inquisitive so ask a million questions. One of the helpers at the place I am staying have two children and I love to chat with them. They laugh when I make mistakes but are the most patient teachers.
Through this same worker I have met people from the area she lives in. Most are poor and can not afford quality health care. She takes me to see people she knows are sick for me to help.
One lady I saw last week was 15 weeks pregnant she had classic symptoms of a urinary tract infection. The week before I saw her she had been to the doctor handed over the little money they had only to come back with a set of results she didn't understand and a large supply of medicines she didn't need. The one medicine she did need (an antibiotic for the urinary infection) was not in the stack of medicines, despite test results saying she had a urinary tract infection.
As a nurse this stuff is really hard to see all of that money wasted when she and her family have precious little to spare. I am thankful for the experience I have had and a skill so that I could practically help this person and others. I am humbled to involved in what God is doing in this community.
The crazy occurrences of life here still happen but it now doesn't feel crazy it just feels normal.
I head to Kolcutta in a few days to reconnect with the team there. It will be the first time since I made the decision to make Kolcutta my home that I would have been back. Almost two years ago. But first I have a Bungla exam to take.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Chadpur and other thoughts
So I got the chance to go to Chadpur last weekend. I went by boat it is 4hours there and 4 hours back. I travelled on my own which was super entertaining and fun. The trip started with a CNG ride (a CNG is like a motorised scooter thing that has a cage to protect you while you dart through traffic) it can take anywhere from 1 -2 hours to get to the ferry landing from where I am staying and I left an hour and a half before the boat was due to go. Not so bad except that about 30mins into the trip my CNG broke down. He told me sorry no problem 1 minute, HAHAHA unlikely I thought. However I gave him the benefit of the doubt and 1 minute later he had found a "mechanic" and they were working on the CNG. 20mins later we were on our way. In the mean time I was thinking I am going to miss the boat. Anyway I got there as the boat was pulling its horn ready to depart brought my ticket, made it through the rugby scrum and on to the boat just in time. PERFECT. The time in Chadpur was great, I was on my own so had no choice but to speak Bungla which was hard work but fun for me and the locals :) The trip back was not nearly so exciting as I was delivered to the ferry terminal by motorbike. However the motorbike trip was a little awkward side saddle with two hands on my back trying to balance. No helmet of course.
I have also had my first Bungla exam which I am happy to say I passed with no problems.
Generally life has been great here, it good to be back overseas but hard as well. I have seen friends come and go and there is more of that to come. The rains are coming more often now and I think the monsoons are coming. Will keep blogging and sharing my life here with all of you.
I have also had my first Bungla exam which I am happy to say I passed with no problems.
Generally life has been great here, it good to be back overseas but hard as well. I have seen friends come and go and there is more of that to come. The rains are coming more often now and I think the monsoons are coming. Will keep blogging and sharing my life here with all of you.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Sickness, Challenges and a Suprise
So my last blogging feels like a long time ago. Since then I have experienced sickness - the first of many no doubt. Been challenged, and surprised.
First of all the sickness. Sickness in Asia revolves around two things; your stomach and the toilet. In the few days that I was sick I got to know my toilet pretty well :)
I had to skip a day of language school, not because I couldn't handle the lesson when I was sick but because I wasn't 100% sure if I could make the 20min Rickshaw ride without a toilet stop. And well I thought better to be safe than sorry.
I got let of pretty lightly really. Two days of the D's & V's then all over. Who know what caused it or how I fought it off. Just one of the blessings of living in Asia is you get a free weight loss program every now and again.
I also have been challenged over the last little while. My last blog I wrote about what my response should be to beggars that I encounter on a day to day basis. Basically I am still churning over this issue. ( I will prob be still thinking on it for the next 20 years). As I have thought more about it I have realised that it is more than will I give money to a beggar or not. For me the challenge is will I look at who I encounter on a daily basis and determine what God would have my response be in each situation. This is hard. Here is Asia as well as in NZ. It is so much easier to go through our daily lives without looking at the needs around us. I have been challenged to listen for the moment when God wants me to act and then do it!
And now a funny story. The other day I was sitting at the desk in my room reading a book. I then got the fright of my life as I hear a voice coming from the window asking for a glass of water. I turn to see a man who had opened my window with a smile on his face. Now to put this into context I live on the third floor. He was painting the building obviously got thirsty saw me and asked for a glass of water. So I did what any one else would do got him a glass of water, had a chat about the color of the paint and then when back to reading my book. Only in Bangladesh.
So be challenged to live your life with eyes open and hearts attuned to God
Blessings
Pip
First of all the sickness. Sickness in Asia revolves around two things; your stomach and the toilet. In the few days that I was sick I got to know my toilet pretty well :)
I had to skip a day of language school, not because I couldn't handle the lesson when I was sick but because I wasn't 100% sure if I could make the 20min Rickshaw ride without a toilet stop. And well I thought better to be safe than sorry.
I got let of pretty lightly really. Two days of the D's & V's then all over. Who know what caused it or how I fought it off. Just one of the blessings of living in Asia is you get a free weight loss program every now and again.
I also have been challenged over the last little while. My last blog I wrote about what my response should be to beggars that I encounter on a day to day basis. Basically I am still churning over this issue. ( I will prob be still thinking on it for the next 20 years). As I have thought more about it I have realised that it is more than will I give money to a beggar or not. For me the challenge is will I look at who I encounter on a daily basis and determine what God would have my response be in each situation. This is hard. Here is Asia as well as in NZ. It is so much easier to go through our daily lives without looking at the needs around us. I have been challenged to listen for the moment when God wants me to act and then do it!
And now a funny story. The other day I was sitting at the desk in my room reading a book. I then got the fright of my life as I hear a voice coming from the window asking for a glass of water. I turn to see a man who had opened my window with a smile on his face. Now to put this into context I live on the third floor. He was painting the building obviously got thirsty saw me and asked for a glass of water. So I did what any one else would do got him a glass of water, had a chat about the color of the paint and then when back to reading my book. Only in Bangladesh.
So be challenged to live your life with eyes open and hearts attuned to God
Blessings
Pip
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
A Difficult Question
Over the last few days I have been contemplating a difficult question
Should I give money to beggars.
If I am out walking shopping or even waiting at the traffic lights, I am approached by beggars wanting money. Some have children, some are pushed along by their children in carts because they have the lost the use of their legs or their legs have been amputated. Some look sickly while others don't. Some are blind, some are deformed, some say they are sick and need money for medicine. But the one thing is they all want money.
Giving money to beggars is not as simple as it sounds. The beggars here can often work for someone and most of what they collect goes to line the pockets of the rich. So although giving money can make you feel good, it often does nothing for the person and they can still be left hungry. Give them food or medicine and they may get beaten for not collecting money.
So the problem is complex
What made me start on this train of thought is on my way home from language school yesterday I saw an elderly women dead on the street. There was a crowd around her but no one wanted to take responsibility for her. She had no one. What did she die from? If she asked me for money for medicine and I gave would it have helped? If she asked me for money for medicine would I have helped?
It is hard in an environment like Dhaka to know when to give and when to walk away.
I think about what Jesus would have done
What would you do?
Should I give money to beggars.
If I am out walking shopping or even waiting at the traffic lights, I am approached by beggars wanting money. Some have children, some are pushed along by their children in carts because they have the lost the use of their legs or their legs have been amputated. Some look sickly while others don't. Some are blind, some are deformed, some say they are sick and need money for medicine. But the one thing is they all want money.
Giving money to beggars is not as simple as it sounds. The beggars here can often work for someone and most of what they collect goes to line the pockets of the rich. So although giving money can make you feel good, it often does nothing for the person and they can still be left hungry. Give them food or medicine and they may get beaten for not collecting money.
So the problem is complex
What made me start on this train of thought is on my way home from language school yesterday I saw an elderly women dead on the street. There was a crowd around her but no one wanted to take responsibility for her. She had no one. What did she die from? If she asked me for money for medicine and I gave would it have helped? If she asked me for money for medicine would I have helped?
It is hard in an environment like Dhaka to know when to give and when to walk away.
I think about what Jesus would have done
What would you do?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Lost in Banani
So today marks the last day with Parul my private language tutor before starting at Heed Language school on Sunday. So today I decided I had better do a trial run by Rickshaw because I had only been there once before and that was on the back of a motorcycle darting through traffic. All I was thinking then was hold on tight not where am I.
So I practice how to say Road 12 Banani (the address) and away I go. I find a rickshaw driver straight away and on asking him if he knows Road 12 Banani he gives a slight head tilt YES.
This is going to turn out easier than I thought. So along I go and once we reach the middle of Banani and I have no idea where I am the rickshaw driver turns to me and asks ME for directions. Now those that know me understand that I am not good with directions even if I know the place well but a place that I have only been to once no idea.
So anyway I just agree with whatever way he suggests hoping that it might be right and I might recognise a landmark somewhere along the way.
Finally we come to a dead end where the rickshaw driver stops and I get off. So I am standing in the middle of what I assume to be Banani. Glad I did a trial run. I walk for about 5mins and stumble across a coffee world. I have never been but have heard much about the place, so I think I will stop for a decadent ice coffee and consult the map I brought with me "just in case". The ice coffee was amazing and it turns out I took a right instead of left and it should be another few minutes down the road success. Language school has been found. I think I will leave a bit early on Sunday and take my map ....... just in case.
Speaking of language I have had some requests for some Bungla words
I am going to share my favorites with you. It is a great and amazing language
So number one fav Bungla word Pipra which means ant (I like it because it sounds so much like my name much to the amusement of my language teacher Parul)
Brehoshprotebar - Thurs (because it sound funny and who would dream of such a thing to call a day of the week)
And finally my favorite phrase - Ami Bungla bolte parbona - I am unable to speak Bungla a fav for obvious reasons.
To those who read the last entry the scissor search went of without a hitch.
So I practice how to say Road 12 Banani (the address) and away I go. I find a rickshaw driver straight away and on asking him if he knows Road 12 Banani he gives a slight head tilt YES.
This is going to turn out easier than I thought. So along I go and once we reach the middle of Banani and I have no idea where I am the rickshaw driver turns to me and asks ME for directions. Now those that know me understand that I am not good with directions even if I know the place well but a place that I have only been to once no idea.
So anyway I just agree with whatever way he suggests hoping that it might be right and I might recognise a landmark somewhere along the way.
Finally we come to a dead end where the rickshaw driver stops and I get off. So I am standing in the middle of what I assume to be Banani. Glad I did a trial run. I walk for about 5mins and stumble across a coffee world. I have never been but have heard much about the place, so I think I will stop for a decadent ice coffee and consult the map I brought with me "just in case". The ice coffee was amazing and it turns out I took a right instead of left and it should be another few minutes down the road success. Language school has been found. I think I will leave a bit early on Sunday and take my map ....... just in case.
Speaking of language I have had some requests for some Bungla words
I am going to share my favorites with you. It is a great and amazing language
So number one fav Bungla word Pipra which means ant (I like it because it sounds so much like my name much to the amusement of my language teacher Parul)
Brehoshprotebar - Thurs (because it sound funny and who would dream of such a thing to call a day of the week)
And finally my favorite phrase - Ami Bungla bolte parbona - I am unable to speak Bungla a fav for obvious reasons.
To those who read the last entry the scissor search went of without a hitch.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
A Day in the Life of Me
So I have been in Bangladesh for two and a half weeks so let me tell you what a typical day is like for me.
First I get up around 6 and while the temp is cool at a mere 26-30 I go for a walk around the park. 5 laps does it for me and then I resemble someone who has just stepped out of a shower due to the amount of sweat I have produced. Who's idea was it to arrive in the middle of summer anyway?
So I get back to the apartment shower (cold of course) and have breakfast
Then I revise the fascinating language that is Bungla hoping that I can remember the words I was taught yesterday before my lesson in the afternoon.
Around 10 I venture outside by now the temp is somewhere above 30 after 30 I don't want to know how hot is actually gets.
I find my self a rickshaw and head off to "town". Today I had two rickshaw wallas fighting over me a young boy and an old man. I choose the old man cause I felt sorry for him. As we are headed in the direction of town I wish I was a little lighter so he didn't have to work so hard.
But before I could dwell on it much longer my nose was telling me we were arriving at what I call sewage corner. As soon as you come round the corner the waft is overwhelming fortunately my nursing holds me in good stead. I hold my knees up close to my chest as we drive through the large puddle of sewage. Delightful.
Now I have arrived at my local shopping area (Gulshan 2) I go in search of what I have come for Post-it notes for my language learning and coloured pencils for the same reason
Now I wonder how you say Post it notes in Bungla. I go into the first stationery shop and ask for post it notes and he looks as if I have grown a second head so I take that as a no.
Fortunately in this area there are hundreds of stationary shops. After I hit my 5th shop I found them (Post it notes not coloured just yellow but they will have to do) and would you believe cm's away a pack of coloured pencils. Yusss it's only taken me an hour and a half but I found them :)
So I am back home now after my excursion. I will go out again in a little while I think I need some scissors Should be fun
First I get up around 6 and while the temp is cool at a mere 26-30 I go for a walk around the park. 5 laps does it for me and then I resemble someone who has just stepped out of a shower due to the amount of sweat I have produced. Who's idea was it to arrive in the middle of summer anyway?
So I get back to the apartment shower (cold of course) and have breakfast
Then I revise the fascinating language that is Bungla hoping that I can remember the words I was taught yesterday before my lesson in the afternoon.
Around 10 I venture outside by now the temp is somewhere above 30 after 30 I don't want to know how hot is actually gets.
I find my self a rickshaw and head off to "town". Today I had two rickshaw wallas fighting over me a young boy and an old man. I choose the old man cause I felt sorry for him. As we are headed in the direction of town I wish I was a little lighter so he didn't have to work so hard.
But before I could dwell on it much longer my nose was telling me we were arriving at what I call sewage corner. As soon as you come round the corner the waft is overwhelming fortunately my nursing holds me in good stead. I hold my knees up close to my chest as we drive through the large puddle of sewage. Delightful.
Now I have arrived at my local shopping area (Gulshan 2) I go in search of what I have come for Post-it notes for my language learning and coloured pencils for the same reason
Now I wonder how you say Post it notes in Bungla. I go into the first stationery shop and ask for post it notes and he looks as if I have grown a second head so I take that as a no.
Fortunately in this area there are hundreds of stationary shops. After I hit my 5th shop I found them (Post it notes not coloured just yellow but they will have to do) and would you believe cm's away a pack of coloured pencils. Yusss it's only taken me an hour and a half but I found them :)
So I am back home now after my excursion. I will go out again in a little while I think I need some scissors Should be fun
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